I've been looking forward to today for months. Today marks the International Trans Day of Visibility. I made it a goal of mine to be out and visible to everyone I know before today, and I met that goal. I don't want to hide. If it weren't for the visibility of other trans people in the world, brave people who have demonstrated what it can be to feel confidence and grace in the acceptance of oneself in a way that I have only recently begun to feel, I might still be stuck in the darkness.
It should not take bravery to exist, let alone to be visible.
The world is still dangerous for trans people. Even in the United States, 2021 marked the deadliest year on record for trans people in the country. This speaks nothing to the issues of rights and representation, let alone to the dangerous experiences of trans people elsewhere in the world. There is a danger to trans visibility here and everywhere. Nowhere is completely safe for trans people, even in the most progressive of areas.
I have lived and recognized a life of privilege while inauthentically presenting as a white, cisgender male, and while I forego this enormous privilege in order to live a life of authenticity as my true self as a transgender woman, I recognize that I have not foregone all privilege. I am still a white woman who happens to live in a state which has fairly strong protections for trans people, as opposed to, say, Idaho, where legislation has recently been passed to sentence parents to life imprisonment for seeking gender affirming care for their trans children. In Texas, they have been attempting to investigate parents for child abuse on the same basis, with the intention of taking these children from parents who commit the crime of accepting, loving, and seeking care for their children, and for seeing their children for who they really are. I'm sure most have heard of the sports legislation in multiple states which fail to recognize the harm that they cause. Florida makes it illegal to inform elementary-aged children of our existence (or of the existence of anyone in the LGBTQIA+ spectrum).
This is in a country that many trans people begrudgingly recognize as one of the safest places to be trans because even here, even in the wake of the deadliest year on record, it is so much worse in so many places around the world. There are places in the world where our very existence is punishable by death.
In the U.S., President Biden first marked the Trans Day of Visibility last year, though the day has been celebrated since 2009. Before then, the only day recognized in support of trans people was a memorial for those who die each year, simply for daring to exist.
Visibility is critical. Visibility saves lives. Visibility brought me to this moment, and the moments after. I would not, could not be the person I am without the bravery of visibility of those who have come before me.
Visibility is also a privilege. Visibility in many countries, states, cities, homes, means risking harm and in many cases, death.
In my life, with the privilege I have, I am beginning to view visibility as a responsibility in deference to those who have shown me by their own existence that I no longer need to present a facade, that I can exist as the person I truly am. But moreso a responsibility to the people who don't have the option of being visible, for those that must either live in stealth, or worse, to live a life of repression. I don't believe every trans person has this responsibility, but as I am privileged to be surrounded in relative safety and love, I feel a responsibility to be visible.
I am grateful for those that have come before me, visible or not, for what they have given me of my own self, and I plan to live a life that honors their sacrifices and love.
I want to end on a quote that I can't get out of my head today. Harvey Milk was speaking of Gay and Lesbian people, but it applies just as poignantly today for trans people, regardless of orientation, as it did for his intended audience.
“Every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must tell your immediate family. You must tell your relatives. You must tell your friends if indeed they are your friends. You must tell the people you work with. You must tell the people in the stores you shop in. Once they realize that we are indeed their children, that we are indeed everywhere, every myth, every lie, every innuendo will be destroyed once and all. And once you do, you will feel so much better”
I don't believe it is safe yet for everyone to come out in all places or contexts, but I feel the responsibility.
I came out publicly less than a month ago with the post Now You Know Someone Who Is Trans.
I wanted to be out publicly before today because today is not about me, but about we. We matter. Our lives matter. Our love matters. Your love matters. We exist. We exist. We exist.
I hope you make the right choices when it comes to living a life of love in a world where we exist.
To my trans siblings in the world, past, present, and future, thank you for everything you have given me.